Monday, July 25, 2016

Scanxiety

So, I "celebrated" an anniversary of sorts over the weekend and spent four hours at the Breast Center getting a bone density scan, breast ultrasound and 3D mammogram. Three years ago on July 24, I went for a routine mammogram and walked out with a breast cancer diagnosis.

I feel great except for a worsening lymphedema. Even though my markers were negative at my last oncologist's visit in May, I still approach these yearly scans with some trepidation. Especially as, being at the 3-year mark, I am closer to that magic 5-year mark. For some reason, at these anniversaries, I mourn my the loss of my arrogant, healthy self for a while.

With some ambivalence, I took to FB with my worries and received lots of "positive thoughts" and virtual hugs. It helped, especially from those friends who have been through it. They understand in ways that cancer-free folks do not. I even learned a new word - scanxiety - from a new FB friend. I love it. 

Today, I am grateful
     for my health,
     for my friends,
     for my health insurance,
     for my hospital, which provides this valuable service,
    and even for scanxiety.

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